Dressed For Success

Whether it be to impress a potential employer at a career fair, stand out at a formal occasion, or even because the clothes themselves feel good, everybody wants to look good. And the idea of presenting yourself well to an audience has taken hold in locker rooms in sports. In 2005, the NBA implemented a stricter dress code after players such as Allen Iverson and Marcus Camby frequently wore sweat pants and hooded sweatshirts in front of cameras on a regular basis. Despite the grumbles and objections from the start, the stricter dress code has benefited the NBA in terms of clothing endorsements for the players. Since teams do care about looking good, it is surprising to see some questionable uniforms coming form professional sports teams. I am, by no stretch of the imagination, a fashion journalist. That being said, there are certain team uniforms that simply are not appealing to the eyes. Here are the five best and worst looking uniforms in the four major sports from wardrobes past and present.


Number 5 worst uniform: The Tampa Bay Devil Rays uniforms

Remember back in 2007 when Tampa Bay still had the Devil in their name? I do. Before 2008, this franchise used to average less than 70 wins every year since its formation in 1998. And the home uniforms did not help the team get better. The biggest issue with the uniforms is the letters because they look as if the team printed the template off of Kid Pix. I wonder if the designer paid any attention to the colors at all? Or if the designer just decided to pick random colors out of a hat. Either way, the Rays of today should be glad that the Devil left Tampa Bay and took the ugly letters with him.

The number 5 best looking uniforms: The New York Yankees Home Uniforms

The pinstripes are synonymous with the New York Yankees, and for good reason. Pinstriped uniforms have been the Yankees style since the birth of their franchise. And since the Bronx bombers have won 27 world series in the pinstripes, why fix what is not broken? But what is really interesting about the pinstriped uniforms is that none of them ever have the names of players on the back. If clothes really do make the man, then the Yankees' uniforms make a statement: The franchise comes before any one player.

The Number 4 worst looking uniform: The Utah Utes

The Utah Utes football program has been very good for most of the past decade. However, these particular uniforms that were selected for a game against Texas Christian University last year were a very poor choice. I do not know how it is possible to screw up a red and black uniform, but the camo (I think it's camo anyway) along the side of the jersey and pants just does not fit. In addition to the poor choice of uniform, the Utes got crushed by TCU 47-7 in the game. I think Utah will avoid going with special uniforms for one game after this debacle for more reasons than one.

The number 4 best looking uniforms: USC Trojans Red Uniforms

California is known for it's sports, and the very successful program at the University of Southern California makes California sports look good. The best part about the SC uniforms are the scarlet jerseys simply because it is very hard to make a red jersey look bad in the world of sports. But what makes the uniforms work the best is that unlike Denver's mustard yellow, the trojans got a shade of yellow that is not too light, but not to dark either. Speaking of the yellow, the yellow stripes on the shoulders are a nice touch. They take away from the red just a bit, yet not enough to ruin the uniform completely. USC may be undergoing some problems with the football program, but their uniforms are not a problem at all.

The number 3 worst uniforms:  The Denver Broncos throwbacks

The Denver Broncos are one of the worst teams in the NFL today, and these uniforms are not helping the cause. These uniforms were the Broncos throwback AFL jerseys back in the 1960's. But these uniforms make Denver's team look more like bees than broncos. The shirts look like they were stolen from the closet of Colonel Mustard. While the socks look like the backside of a worker bee. The stripe of the helmet is unoffensive, but there is a reason that not even the Cleveland Browns wear brown helmets. Denver should throw those uniforms back into the 60's where they belong.


The number 3 best uniform: The Michigan Wolverines Home Uniforms

The Michigan Wolverines are the proud owners of the best uniforms in college football. The big house being filled to the brim with maize and gold is a classic, and visually appealing, image in college football. But what is the game breaker for this uniform is the helmet. The golden stripes on the helmets are designed like a wolverine claw. Nobody in college football has a better helmet than the team from Anne Arbor. Michigan may be going through a rough patch in the mathematically challenged Big 10 (which has 12 teams, while the Big 12 now has 10 teams. Riddle me that), but the Wolverines always have good looking uniforms when they hit the field.

The number 2 worst looking uniforms: The Tampa Bay Buccaneers Throwbacks

Anyone else sensing a theme with these throwback uniforms? These date all the way back to the 1976 season when the Buccaneers first burst on to the NFL scene with a record of 0-14. Their play may have been terrible, but it is possible that these uniforms could be even worse. Honestly, the Buccaneers look more like creamsicles than football players. This particular uniform certainly takes away from the intimidation factor, unless of course someone had a fear of a 300 pound frozen treat running at you, then you would have a big reason to be afraid. Oddly enough, Tampa Bay was not relevant in the football world until the 90's, when they changed their uniforms. Coincidence? I think not.

The number 2 uniforms: The San Diego Padres Camo Jerseys

The San Diego Padres do not have much to cheer about, but in 2008 the Padres began wearing camouflage jerseys for every Sunday home game. Not only do the jerseys help symbolize the first national sports team to have annual military appreciation events, but they also look cool too. Opposing batters struggle to see where the ball is coming from because the Padres pitchers are blending in with the terrain. But on a serious note, camouflage can look good on pretty much anybody. But the appreciation by a team to the men and women who lay down their lives to protect us all is the primary reason that the Padres uniforms are up this high on the list.

Now the moment you have all been waiting for

The number 1 worst looking uniform in sports: The Vancouver Canucks 1980s uniforms

The Vancouver Canucks current uniforms look nothing like their 80s unis. I believe that is because they are trying as hard as possible to make the fans forget these abominations that the Canucks called uniforms. This is the only uniform that I have ever seen with a V-neck. And I am extremely grateful that nobody else has attempted to break this out of its cage. The orange, yellow, and brown colors just look awful together and the designs on the jersey are unflattering to say the least. I personally fell terrible for the players who had to wear these uniforms. Nobody should have to put on these awful uniforms, no matter how good the team is.

The number 1 best uniform: The San Diego Chargers Powder Blue Uniforms

The Chargers powder blues are easily the best uniforms in sports. San Diego first broke these jerseys out in 1963, and the fans have loved them ever since. The lightning bolts on the jersey are a very nice touch. The white helmets and numbers are very classy. And the powder blue color is simply a great choice. The Chargers have had a great deal of success in the powder blue uniforms during the 60's, for they won the AFL title in 1963. The Chargers have made the playoffs every year from 2006-2009, and with all of their key players returning this year, the Chargers and their powder blue uniforms could be primed for another big year.


If the clothes really do make the men, then the best looking uniforms on this list could help the players in ways off the field. While the worst looking uniforms are no fault to the players, those bad jerseys result from somebody not knowing how to dress well. So what have we learned about the world of sports today? It is that not every team dresses for success.